Fab 5 Reminders For The Week...

Oh, it's been a trying week in so many respects. If I had one hundred decisions to make this week, I've questioned at least 99 of them. I don't know where all of the self-doubt came from, but it was definitely there. Thankfully, Friday has arrived.

This week reminded me about a lot of things...things that I sometimes forget about as I go through my daily life...and so it is those things that I will share with you today.

1. Be grateful. I am grateful this week for all of the little things - conversations, coffee, reassuring hugs, text messages, kisses from my kiddos, coffee (Ooh, I said that already!), the use of the words "thank you." There's probably a million other things I could list, but you get the gist. These are all little things...it's not like I won a trip or received a check for a million dollars (I'd be grateful for those things, too!), but sometimes you just need to take a moment and know that the little words or gestures or insignificant items such as coffee can really make a significant difference to someone. This week those things mattered to me. For that, I am grateful.

2. You can change your mind. About a week ago I stated to a class that this was "...the way it is. Just deal with it." And then, this week, I found myself in a situation where I had to go back on that. At first, I'll admit it, I was pissed. I really didn't want to back down on what I had said. I was angry that I was being put in a situation where I felt I was going against what I had vowed would be. But, a few days have now passed and I realize, you know what, it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to reverse a decision if the situation calls for it. In the long haul, this is SOOOOOO minor...for me and for those involved. I've learned from it...and I hope they have, too.

3. Be committed. I'm subbing right now and I thought that it would be really easy to just come in, teach the lessons, and leave each day at 3 p.m. But, I find myself heavily invested in what I thought would just be a silly little job. The pay is crummy and, at times, the job is very trying, but I'm all in. I'm committed to the students. I'm committed to the teacher I'm subbing for. I'm in...110%! I think that whatever you choose to do, you should be all in. Commit to it...give it all you've got. At times, that commitment may try to suck the life out of you, but the rewards are great. I wholeheartedly believe that.

4. Give yourself a break occasionally. My back has been out for most of the week. It's much better today, but Monday - Thursday - it sucked, to put it nicely. What does this mean? Well, I did not exercise one minute in the past week. Not one. There was a time in my life when this would cause extreme anxiety...I mean extreme. But, sometimes you just need to accept things for what they are and move on.

I also did not cook one meal for my family this week. Yes, my kids lived on boxed macaroni and cheese and cereal, toast and bacon this week. We're all fine. My kids did not starve. Heck, they didn't even care.

So put aside your Pinterest aspirations and inspirations and know that it's okay to give your children a meal from a box, miss a workout and drink an extra beer every now and then. We all need the occasional break.

5. Hug your kids. If you have kids, give them a big, ol' hug! Grayson and I butted heads several times this week, but at the end of each day...we hugged it out. One night (after the arrival of his report card) I even said to him, "Hey dude! We need to hug it out." And guess, what? Things were good. They're only little once. They make mistakes. We make mistakes. But, I still firmly believe a hug can make things better...

Okay...so these are my reminders for the week. Nothing earth-shattering. No great words of wisdom. Heck, you might not even need these reminders, but maybe one of them resonated with you. Or, maybe when you have a difficult week in the future...one of these reminders will come in handy!

Whining...

Yes, I'm whining today. Please stop reading if you don't want to listen to my whining. I'm giving you fair warning...

Okay...you've been warned.

It's been a craptastic week. Here's my whiny list: My back went out. I've had some students driving me to drink. My husband is in Minneapolis. Grayson's report card was not so fabulous and, more importantly, he just didn't really care. There's a damn lizard living in my cupboard who has scared the shit out of me the last two days. I haven't exercised all week due to my back. And there has been a serous lack of coffee in my life this week.

Yes, these are all minor in the grand scheme of things. I'm not homeless, starving or destitute. No one has died, nor have I killed anyone this week. (Score one for me!) But, I'm whining...and when you whine it's never about anything critical or crucial to your life.

Yeah, yeah...you can take your happiness shield and stick it!

So anyways, if my whining offends you...well, I was going to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. My filter is really low this week...I mean REALLY low. And, I'm pretty much just telling it like it is...so if I offend you or a member of your family, maybe you could just cut me a little slack. Just a little...and...

Cocktails, Korean BBQ, Shisha and Working Girls...

Last Friday night started out as just another Friday night in KL - a few cocktails after work with friends, then dinner at the local Korean BBQ place (with a few more cocktails) and then some shisha and a few more cocktails and then...well, we decided to check out this club.

Now, I'm not a club girl. I'm a 44 year-old mom who values her sleep, who knew she'd had enough to drink, and probably should've headed home. But when someone says, "Come! Just for one!" - yeah, I found it hard to say no.

So we went to this club in Solaris - which upon arrival was practically empty. No problem. There was lots of loud music, so we figured we'd stay and share a bottle of Absolut and then head home. But, within 30 minutes of our arrival, the place started to fill. With girls in sequins, mini-skirts so short that...well, there's no real need for me to paint you a picture. And when the bottle of Absolut hit our table, we were surrounded by what I will nicely call "working girls." They were like locusts. Very pretty locusts, but locusts nonetheless. At first, I was amazed that they would be so bold as to approach our group who was mostly paired up with their respective spouses...and then I was felt up by one of the pretty "working girls" and I realized, "Ah, it's an equal opportunity thing..." So I could not help but laugh as I watched most of the husbands have their asses grab (mine included) and lots of flirtatious touches...

Soon, the girls must have realized that they weren't getting anywhere with our group. And as quickly as they had descended upon us, they then moved on to a new group of marks, oh, I mean men.

Upon reflection Saturday morning, I found the whole situation quite sad. Obviously these girls have known nothing else for their entire life. I'm sure they've been exploited in some manner since they were young and now they've been sent to KL (most of them were from Thailand) to "make a living."

I don't know what the solution is...but it certainly makes you think. And it certainly makes you thankful.

Feeling Wanted...

So I am in the midst of week #2 of teaching and all is going well. Or at least I think it is. I think some kids are still in a bit of shock that they have a "real teacher"- someone who actually knows what to do in the classroom and is going to hold them accountable for their work, but I'm sure they'll quickly adjust. Or they won't...either way the world will go on.

But, today's blog isn't really about teaching...it's about why I'm happy to be teaching. Yes, it's fun to be back with students, although the same issues that drove me crazy when I had my own classroom continue to do so today. And yes, it's great to work with some really excellent teachers who take the time to check in on me and make sure I'm surviving. But, what really makes me happy is that I got the job - that they picked me for the 7 weeks. That the school wanted me.

When I came to Malaysia I wasn't sure from where I would derive my personal identity. Would being a stay-at-home mom be enough? Would being the wife to Blaine be enough? And, while I love those things, I still sought out something more. I started blogging and then writing pieces for a magazine...and all of those things together started to help improve my feeling of self-worth. (And trust me, I love being a mother, wife and occasional writer.) But, a few months back I needed to know that I still had '"it" when it came to professional endeavours. Every job I've ever wanted, I've got. It's not an extensive list. I find a job I want - and I stick with it. And I give it my best...always. And, I wanted to know that I could still get a job. So I revamped the resume and took a chance.

And I could. I could still get a job. Now, I'll be honest...I don't think they had a huge number of applicants. It may have been a case of picking"the lesser of two evils" - and I won by a slim margin. But, they still chose me. And that feeling of being wanted is important. It's that feeling that encourages me to give it my all and helps to validate my self-worth.

I'm sure lots of "trailing spouses" can relate to that feeling. We have husbands or wives who have excellent careers. Whenever you meet someone new one of the first three questions is, "Who does your husband/wife work for?" Not very often does someone ask what you do. It can be a little discouraging at times. Most of us had fantastic and fulfilling careers...we've just chosen another path right now because the benefits are amazing - for us, for our spouses, for our families.

But, for the next few weeks, if someone does happen to ask, I will proudly say that I'm a teacher - because someone wanted me.