Procrastinating...

I actually wrote the post below about two weeks ago, but I see that I never published it. Seeing as I'm currently sitting in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing...I think I'll hit publish today.

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I’m procrastinating.

I’m not a procrastinator by nature. I’m a list maker who takes great pleasure in crossing things off. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction to get to the end of a day, look at the list in my notebook (yeah, so old school) and see that everything is finished.

 

But, once every few years this task comes upon me and I dread it. It gets written in the notebook. It needs to be done. It’s part of the process. And I love what comes out of it. But, I despise this task. I even try to get my husband to do it for me.

What is it you ask? What could be so bad?

It’s writing my resume.

I know people who have had jobs they love for 10, 15, 20, 30 years. I am not that person. I have had jobs I love. In fact, I have had many. But the longevity of these jobs has been relatively short.  Four to five years at the very longest. More often than not, I have wanted to stay. It just wasn’t possible.

And no, I haven’t been fired from any of my positions. The companies haven’t folded and declared bankruptcy. There was no big blowout with a co-worker who stole my idea and submitted it as his own and I quit to prove a point.

You see, I’m a “trailing spouse.”  My husband has a great job that has offered him many career opportunities in the past 13 years, and, in order to help him move up the corporate ladder, I have followed him, “trailed” behind him, as we’ve moved. (Please keep in mind, I didn’t come up with the term “trailing spouse.” I really don’t like it. But, I live with it.)

It started in the States. We moved from the New York to Wisconsin to Iowa. Our most recent move has brought us to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

It is here, in a café,  that I am putting off the inevitable task of reworking my resume.

Many people have asked if I’m resentful.  Don’t you feel like you’re making all the sacrifices and he’s getting all the rewards? Don’t you just wish you could stay put? Continue with the job you had?

I can now say, “No.” Each move we’ve made has allowed me to re-invent myself. Each move has made me better. Each move has improved my skill set. Each move has benefitted me – maybe more than him.

I started my career as a teacher. I pictured myself teaching in a school until my retirement kicked in and I had taught the children, maybe even the grandchildren, of my first students. That was not to be.

I cried when I quit my job to follow my husband the first time. Huge sobs. At the time, my father essentially told me, “Suck it up, buttercup. He makes good change and you need to support him.” Okay, that’s not an exact quote, but you get the gist.

So we moved and I needed to establish my identity. I was not a teacher anymore. Who was I? What was I going to do?

I decided my health would be my focus. I needed to lose 150 pounds. This would be my job. And I accomplished it. It wasn’t easy. Probably the hardest and most frustrating job I’ve ever had. But, I did it.

Once this goal was reached, I knew I was ready to find a “real” job. I sat down and completely overhauled my resume. (I would rather have been at the dentist having a root canal.) Should I return to teaching? It didn’t feel like the time. Maybe I could use my personal transformation to springboard into something new. This led to a career as a leader for one of those well-known weight-loss companies. A very fulfilling career helping others achieve their goals.

And then we moved again. This time I was excited. No tears. The last move had brought such an amazing physical and emotional change in me, surely this next move could do the same.

And it did.

I once again put the focus back on myself. Certifications and self-education was my focus. I became a certified group fitness instructor and personal trainer. Once again it was time for my least favorite task - dusting off the ‘ol resume.

My resume served me well. I found a career at a locally owned gym that allowed me to put my skills to work. It even allowed me the chance for advancement as I became the fitness programs manager for this club. I loved it. I loved the people. I loved the job. I loved everything.

And you can guess what happened next. We moved – to Malaysia.

I have spent a year here already - focusing on me. I don’t have a work Visa - so my work options are limited. But, for the past year, I’ve been writing. Purely for pleasure - for my friends and family. For a magazine that liked something I sent their way and asked me to contribute more. And I now think it’s time to see, once again, what’s out there career-wise. It’s time for my least favorite task – rebuilding the resume.

I know I shouldn’t dread it so much. My resume has brought me so many good things. I look at it and see the timeline of my marriage. It’s a reminder of the amazing people I’ve met and the wonderful places we lived.

I will focus on that today as I once again jam the thumb drive in my laptop and work quickly to make my curriculum vitae as relevant as possible to what I want to do. What will come next? Where will my resume lead me? Who knows? But, based on past experiences, I know my resume won’t let me down. It just needs a little TLC to guide me in the right direction.

And some TLC it will get – right after another cup of coffee.